Glimmers vs. Triggers: The Science of Finding Joy
12 mins read
Published Nov 29, 2024
You've probably heard the term "trigger." It's everywhere: in therapy, in self-help, on social media. But there's a concept you might not have heard of that's the exact opposite—and it's just as powerful.
It's called a glimmer.
Glimmers are micro-moments of joy, safety, and connection that activate your parasympathetic nervous system—your body's natural relaxation response. The term was coined by Deb Dana, a licensed clinical social worker specializing in trauma and nervous system regulation, as part of Polyvagal Theory research.
A glimmer might be: the warmth of morning sun on your face. The smell of fresh coffee. A dog playing in the park. A friend's laugh. The weight of a cozy blanket. A song you love playing in a coffee shop. Any moment that makes you feel calm, grounded, or genuinely happy.
Glimmers vs. Triggers: The Opposite Response
To understand glimmers, it helps to understand their opposite: triggers.
Triggers activate your sympathetic nervous system—your "fight, flight, freeze" response. They're cues from your environment that make you feel unsafe, anxious, or threatened. Your heart rate increases. Your breathing gets shallow. Your muscles tense. You're preparing to protect yourself from danger—real or imagined.
Glimmers do the exact opposite. They activate your parasympathetic nervous system, which is your body's "rest and digest" state. Your nervous system registers safety. Your heart rate slows. Your breathing deepens. Your muscles relax. You feel calm, connected, and present.
Here's the neuroscience part: Both triggers and glimmers "wire" your brain over time through neural plasticity—the principle that "what fires together, wires together." If you spend most of your time noticing threats and dangers (triggers), your brain gets really good at finding them. But if you practice noticing safety and joy (glimmers), your brain rewires itself to find those moments instead.
Why Glimmers Matter
This isn't just feel-good psychology. There's real neuroscience behind it.
When you regularly notice glimmers, your nervous system develops what's called "vagal tone"—essentially, the strength and flexibility of your relaxation response. A stronger vagal tone means you recover from stress faster, you're less reactive to triggers, and you spend more time in a state of calm and openness.
Over time, this rewiring has measurable impacts: reduced anxiety, improved focus, better sleep, and increased emotional resilience. Your brain isn't just getting better at noticing the good—it's actually changing how it responds to the world.
The beautiful thing about glimmers is that they're everywhere. You don't need to create them or force them. They already exist in your life. You just need to start noticing them.
Start by Setting an Intention
That's it. Just one. You're not trying to force joy or perform gratitude. You're simply keeping your awareness open for moments that naturally occur—moments where you feel a spark of ease or connection.
Pause and Actually Feel It
This is the crucial part that most people skip.
When you notice a glimmer, don't just acknowledge it mentally. Pause and let yourself fully feel it in your body. Where do you feel it? Maybe warmth in your chest. A softening in your shoulders. A quieting in your mind. Your breathing slowing.
This embodied awareness is what "sticks" the glimmer into your nervous system and builds your capacity for regulation. When you pause for even just a few seconds and sense how it lands in your body, you're giving your nervous system practice at settling into safety.
Document Your Glimmers
Keeping a glimmer journal or list helps you recognize patterns: which people, places, sounds, or activities consistently bring you ease and connection. Over time, you'll discover that some glimmers are predictable (morning coffee, a specific song, a friend's laugh) and some are surprising (a stranger's smile, an unexpected rainbow, a bird at the window).
This isn't about judgment or "you should do this more." It's simply data—a map of what nourishes you.
Build Your Glimmer Menu
Consider creating a "glimmer menu"—a personal list of people, places, and activities that consistently bring you calm, comfort, or connection. When you're stressed or dysregulated, you can return to this list and intentionally activate one of your known glimmers.
In moments when you need grounding, you might pull up: listening to a specific playlist, sitting with a pet, spending time in nature, calling a friend, or wrapping yourself in a favorite blanket.
The reason glimmers became a trending concept on Gen-Z platforms like TikTok isn't by accident. Young people are using glimmers as a counterbalance to the endless negativity and doom-scrolling that defines so much of social media.
Instead of asking "What's wrong with the world?" people are asking "What feels good right now?" Instead of spotting threats, they're spotting safety. It's a radical reorientation toward presence and wellbeing.
The 30-Second Glimmer Practice
Here's where glimmers and Gratty intersect perfectly.
When you open Gratty and spend 30 seconds noting something good about your day, you're not just documenting facts. You're actively practicing glimmer-spotting. You're training your brain to notice the safe, joyful, connected moments—and strengthening your nervous system's ability to register them.
Every entry in Gratty is an opportunity to notice a glimmer. Maybe it was:
Your morning coffee
A moment of stillness
Someone being kind
A song you love
A text from a friend
Sunlight through the window
Your body feeling strong
A laugh
How Glimmers Build Long-Term Resilience
The neuroscience here is powerful: when you repeatedly notice and embody glimmers, your nervous system develops stronger vagal tone and more flexibility. This means you're literally rewiring your brain to be better at noticing safety and joy.
Over time, this compounds. Days when you notice one glimmer become weeks where you spot three. Weeks become months where you're living with a baseline sense of calm and openness. Your nervous system's "home base" shifts from vigilance to ease.
This is what Deb Dana calls "glow"—the lingering warmth and resilience that comes from collecting and savoring glimmers over time. It's not about forcing positivity. It's about training your nervous system to find and register what's actually good about your life.
The Permission to Feel Ease
Glimmers offer something the world desperately needs right now: permission to notice that it's not all bad. That safety exists. That joy is real and accessible. That your nervous system can learn to relax.
This is the opposite of toxic positivity, where you're forced to feel grateful for things that don't matter. This is simply noticing what actually does feel good. And that practice, repeated every day, becomes the foundation of a nervous system at ease.
The next time you feel a moment of genuine warmth, safety, or joy—pause, feel it, and notice it. That spark? That's your glimmer. And it's the beginning of rewiring your entire nervous system toward the life you actually want to live.
